The Murky World of Alien Videogames: part…erm…4? 5?

Written by Gav Weir. Twitter over here.

Hey! Remember this thing? I almost didn’t until I started messing around with PSOne emulators on my newly purchased Android box and spotted a little game called Alien Resurrection. And yes, I have skipped past Alien Trilogy, I’ll come back to that soon.

So let’s get this out the way: the film this game is based on is a confused, horrid mess that not even a Josh Whedon script could save. The wrong director with the wrong script and the wrong cast all stunted with a redesigned Alien that took a sleek, insect-like killing machine and turned it into a slime-oozing mindless animal.  After the gloriously bleak and brutal finality of Alien 3, it just did not need to exist and anyone who does like it is simply not a good person.
So with that out the way: the game…

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ROMDOM NUMBER GENERATOR – MONTH 2

Written by Gav Russell. Twitter is here.

Welcome back to Romdom Number Generator, a monthly feature where I pick ROMS using a number generator, force myself to play them for 20 minutes whatever they may be and then write about them! Because …well, I don’t actually know. You can read the full rules and a longer introduction by checking out month 1 right here.  So, without further delay…

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ROMDOM NUMBER GENERATOR – MONTH 1

Written by Gav Russell. Twitter is here.

I’m a man who likes an impossible challenge,  just ask my wife haha!! I’m only kidding. We’re not actually married. But, um… no, I do often set myself wildly monolithic and pointless tasks; usually to validate whatever meaningless exercise I’ve decided to spend my time doing. For example, last years challenge where I pledged to write about at least one new game every week for the whole of 2015, which I partially failed after the first few weeks when I started writing about the same games week after week and then eventually gave up on all together. Good times.

Anyway, enough deconstructing the sort of person I am, here’s the latest in a saga of potential failures : ROMDOM NUMBER GENERATOR. What is it? Each month throughout 2016 I’m going to play 4 ROMs, randomly picked by a number generator, then play each one for a minimum of 20 minutes and write about them afterwards. What could go wrong? Aside from either you or I actually giving a fuck, I guess… Continue reading

Unarguably The BEST Star Wars Games I can remember playing

You’ve seen that there Star Wars, right? Course you have, ’cause you’re a rad person. You like ’em too, right? Yeah ya do. Did you know they made some games based on them? You did? Man, your finger is on the fucking pulse. But I know what you’re thinking ‘which ones are worth my time?!’ Don’t worry kid. Sit back, strap on your C3PO replica mask and lemme take you on a journey.

Before anyone starts: no, TIE-Fighter is not on this list, neither is Jedi Knight, Shadows of the Empire or any of those other ones that people always mention. ‘Why not you blithering idiot? They’re amazing!!’ I hear you scream into the void that separates your reality from mine. Easy: I’ve never played them and really can’t imagine they’ve aged well so I doubt I ever will. Short minded? Me?! Naaaah. Just lazy. Reeeeeeal lazy.

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Miyazaki’s Last Laugh

There’s an enemy in the Bloodborne expansion ‘Old Hunters’ that has caused me more problems than any of the boss fights. Well, other than the final one, that one is a total arse of a fight..But this guy in question is a boss in all but big health bar at the bottom of the screen.

There’s a well you see, a totally unassuming well in the middle of a fishing village. You’ll probably pass it by the first time you go through here because there’s bigger fish (literally) in the area to fry. It was only when I had finally beat the story and wanted to mop up the trophies to get that lovely double 100%.

Probably some spoilers below, enemy wise.

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YOU DIED’S TOTALLY DEFINITIVE END OF YEAR LIST 2015

It’s that time of year again! Christmas is family time, right? The time of year where you’re forced to go see people that you’ve never really liked and pretend to be a normal, functioning human around them. But all you really want to do is sit in alone in your living room, maybe with a cup of tea…oh, tea not your thing? Horlicks? Yeah, we’ll say Horlicks…everyone loves that shit.

And it won’t be long before someone gets trigger happy with the Nuke button and dooms us all to a slow, radiated death. So why bother trying to make a meaningful relationship with anyone?

Happy fucking Christmas. Here’s our awards.

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The You Died ‘Legit Games of the Year 2015’ article

Dwid Hellion was right when he said that “humanity is the devil“, but what he was probably also thinking was “mind youvideogames are pretty good“. Here are You Died’s favourite games that came out in the year 2015.

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Final Fantasy VII Remake and The Plague of Nostalgia Porn

This here post was written by the awesome Tom Woods, who you can find drawing awesome things over on twitter here: https://twitter.com/TomWoodsArt, or making excellent videos as part of Hearts Bros here: https://www.youtube.com/c/heartsbros


For the longest time, I fought against my love of Final Fantasy VII. It was, as far as I recall, my very first RPG. Along with that, my very first J-RPG. I fought against the hordes of fanboys and girls, pretending it was not as great as everyone made out to be. I clung to the idea that Final Fantasy VI was the superior one, despite never finishing it, and it having a cast of characters that was slightly too large to care for all of them. I was a shameful video game hipster.

The recent showcase of the Final Fantasy VII: Remake trailer shown at the Playstation Experience (PSX) shattered that illusion. I welled up seeing the characters that took my RPG virginity (picture that and try not to get grossed out. I’ll wait right here for the retching to stop), the swelling of the “Bombing Mission” track by composer Nobuo Uematsu accompanied by the visuals just sent me over the edge.

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Life is Strange

This here post was written by lovely internet guy, Lewis Clark. He can normally be found writing about Sega games over here: http://www.segadriven.com/ or talking about aggressively loud music here: https://ukscumscene.wordpress.com/ or posting pictures of Japanese Hamsters on his Twitter. He’s a pretty busy guy.


 

How are you with crying? I don’t cry very often. I don’t mean that in an ‘I’m a manly man’ way, I just mean I’m not regularly moved to tears. I’ve never cried at a game and I’ve only cried once while watching a film and I’ve seen some horrific shit in my time. One of my favourite films is Oldboy for Christ’s sake.

So when I finally decided to pick up indie look-em-up game Life is Strange, I can’t say I was prepared to be moved to tears, but here we are. I fucking lost it during the final episode. Proper streams of salty eye juice running down my haggard, cheese-grater of a face. Because of that I’d happily say Life is Strange is one of the greatest video game experiences I’ve ever had and it marks a point where a video game narrative finally engages on the same level as cinema or television.

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Bloody Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate

You’ve seen Gangs of New York, right? DiCaprio facing off against a scene-chewing Daniel Day-Lewis? You have, and you fucking love it, right? Of course you do, you’re a sensible person with exquisite taste, like that jumper you’re wearing…that is *boss*, where’s it from? River Island? NICE.

So anyway, remember the start of that film, just after Qui-Gon Jinn spouts some cryptic message about ‘the blood stays on the blade’,  where his Dead Rabbits gang square off against Day-Lewis’ Natives for control of the Five Points area of New York?

aye, that's the one

aye, that’s the one

You totally get to do that in AC: Syndicate.

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