A definitive review of DOOM 2016

With websites like Polydong clearly getting their timid balls in a knot trying to talk about DOOM with paragraphs like…

Doom is very violent, in case you weren’t aware. It’s all kinetic shooting with very graphic kills that have blessedly been toned down somewhat from their original gruesome debut at last year’s E3. The so-called “Glory Kills” — a fancy name for melee executions available when an enemy takes enough damage — are no longer quite so drawn-out and torturous. Instead, a glory kill takes about two seconds to finish, long enough to be savage but not the extended gore porn that made me a little queasy when I first saw the game in 2015

… we thought that, for the good of our children and our children’s children, we would offer up the definitve review of the new DOOM for everyone to just copy and paste at will, saving all of games media from getting all confused about what to say. Please see below. You’re quite welcome.


FUCKING YES, MATE.


There you go. See you later.

WLxHT7c

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