It’s that time of year again! Christmas is family time, right? The time of year where you’re forced to go see people that you’ve never really liked and pretend to be a normal, functioning human around them. But all you really want to do is sit in alone in your living room, maybe with a cup of tea…oh, tea not your thing? Horlicks? Yeah, we’ll say Horlicks…everyone loves that shit.
And it won’t be long before someone gets trigger happy with the Nuke button and dooms us all to a slow, radiated death. So why bother trying to make a meaningful relationship with anyone?
Happy fucking Christmas. Here’s our awards.
The ‘You don’t know better than id do, sit down’ Award
The ‘hey telltale, you paying attention?’ Award
The ‘Miyazaki award for being better at Bloodborne than you’
Us for both getting the Platinum Trophy
The ‘Just have a wank already’ Award
Kojima for his flimsy excuses for Quiet’s lack of clothes.
Most Arse-Clenchingly Tense Boss Fight
Shadow of Yarnham
Your opinion is wrong
‘Hey, it’s him! and her! and Her as well and..oh nevermind, they’re dead’ Award
All the recognisable faces in Until Dawn.
The’Stop Teasing me and Just Show it Already’ Award
Geralt’s Junk in The Witcher 3
The Splatoon Award For Best In-Game squid
This cape in Destiny
Best Pig Fisting
Best 2014 Content of 2015
Best Act 1
Worst Act 2
Metal Gear V
The ‘Hey, didn’t I play you in 2008?’ Award
The Dark Souls Award for ‘If we were being honest, this will always be our game of the year’
Best heel turn
Best face turn
‘Too Cool and Cynical to enjoy Your Own Hobby’ Award
Seriously though, this year has been plagued with constant negativity and snark towards any announcement or release. Games are meant to be fun, just enjoy them! Don’t like a game series? Don’t pay attention to it. Why waste precious minutes of your own life belittling someone elses opinion, it only serves to make you look like a raging bell-end. Ever wanted a raging bell-end? No, no-one does. So stop it.
So that’s it, another year gone and we’re all a lot wiser, right? I mean, we all learnt some shit…mostly that Konami have utterly fucked it, but it’s not like we’ve really lost anything; Castlevania was never *really* that good, right? Ha! Jokes! I’ll miss it.
Thanks for all love this year and we really hope ya’ll like Dark Souls as that’s all we’ll probably talk about next year.