YOU DIED’S TOTALLY DEFINITIVE END OF YEAR LIST 2015

It’s that time of year again! Christmas is family time, right? The time of year where you’re forced to go see people that you’ve never really liked and pretend to be a normal, functioning human around them. But all you really want to do is sit in alone in your living room, maybe with a cup of tea…oh, tea not your thing? Horlicks? Yeah, we’ll say Horlicks…everyone loves that shit.

And it won’t be long before someone gets trigger happy with the Nuke button and dooms us all to a slow, radiated death. So why bother trying to make a meaningful relationship with anyone?

Happy fucking Christmas. Here’s our awards.

The ‘You don’t know better than id do, sit down’  Award
This piece of shit image.
Who needs art direction when you can just ram all the colour levels up in Photoshop??! Fuck off.

Who needs art direction when you can just ram all the colour levels up in Photoshop??! Fuck off.


The ‘hey telltale, you paying attention?’ Award 
Life is Strange
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The ‘Miyazaki award for being better at Bloodborne than you’

Us for both getting the Platinum Trophy

trophy

We rode through Hell itself


The ‘Just have a wank already’ Award

Kojima for his flimsy excuses for Quiet’s lack of clothes. 

We get it, you like boobs…just stop being so sleazy about it.


 Most Arse-Clenchingly Tense Boss Fight

Shadow of Yarnham

maxresdefault

Mind that second phase? OOOOooooof.


Your opinion is wrong
The Batmobile – Arkham Knight
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It looks like a beast, moves like like a beast and sounds like a beast…pretty much everything I’d want a Batmobile to be.


‘Hey, it’s him! and her! and Her as well and..oh nevermind, they’re dead’ Award

All the recognisable faces in Until Dawn.

dawn


The’Stop Teasing me and Just Show it Already’ Award

Geralt’s Junk in The Witcher 3

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You know it would be a sight to behold


The Splatoon Award For Best In-Game squid 

 This cape in Destiny

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PUNS!! SQUID PUNS!!!


Best Pig Fisting 

Bloodborne

...yeah.

…yeah.


Best 2014 Content of 2015
Vault of Glass
Vault

100% worth the wait


Best Act 1
Metal Gear V
Tumblr_nvdq5vAuch1qjzk4ko1_1280

OMG AMAZING. KOJIMA IS BACK!!


Worst Act 2

Metal Gear V

Tumblr_nvdq5vAuch1qjzk4ko1_1280

So…I just…repeat all these missions? That seems…shit…


(Potentially) Best Thing To Be Forever Fucked Out Of Existence
P.T
Lisa_Back.png

Farewell, Lisa. Sad to see you go, but I’m pretty happy I’ll never have to face that game again.


The ‘Hey, didn’t I play you in 2008?’ Award
Fallout 4
fallout3_1_lg

heheheheheh…*sigh*


The Dark Souls Award for ‘If we were being honest, this will always be our game of the year’

Dark Souls.

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<snape>Always.</snape>


Best heel turn
Konami
Konami-Logo.png

Boo, hiss etc.


Best face turn
Destiny
desint

‘Too Cool and Cynical to enjoy Your Own Hobby’ Award
Gamers. You. Yes You.
bldae19

See that guy above? That’s you that is.

Seriously though, this year has been plagued with constant negativity and snark towards any announcement or release. Games are meant to be fun, just enjoy them! Don’t like a game series? Don’t pay attention to it. Why waste precious minutes of your own life belittling someone elses opinion, it only serves to make you look like a raging bell-end. Ever wanted a raging bell-end? No, no-one does. So stop it.


So that’s it, another year gone and we’re all a lot wiser, right? I mean, we all learnt some shit…mostly that Konami have utterly fucked it, but it’s not like we’ve really lost anything; Castlevania was never *really* that good, right? Ha! Jokes! I’ll miss it.

Thanks for all love this year and we really hope ya’ll like Dark Souls as that’s all we’ll probably talk about next year.

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