A bunch of Posts We’ll Probably never get round to writing

Unlike a professional games writing person we have no pressure to write about games we’re playing. No editor breathing down our necks trying to push out an article out on ‘why the frame rate of uncharted means the PS4 is doomed’ or ’10 games I could make better than a professional games developer because I have a disqus account and a keyboard’.

No sir, this is all off our own backs and given the chance, we am two lazy boys. 

We tend to start a new post with a title and then never get round to writing it, either we forget or the time just passes and the subject is no longer relevant. Here’s a few of our best posts that will probably never get written:

The Witcher’s Quen Spell or DOOM’s Shotgun: Which Has The Biggest Kick?

Exposed : The Racist Underbelly of the Mushroom Kingdom. 

Caring About My K:D Ratio Cost Me My Marriage 

How Dark Souls 2 Taught Me To Look Both Ways When Crossing The Road.

Major Nelson Sold Me Drugs at E3

You Hate Doom 3 Because you’re a Twat.

I Found A Polaroid of Miyamoto’s Cock In The Box Of My Wii

Borderlands Cosplay: It’s Just Drawing Lines On Your Face


Renée Zellweger Would Be My Choice To Play Link And Here’s Why

Sonic The Hedgehog Cosplayers : Cunts or Just Misguided?

Major Nelson : The Guiltiest Wank  

More Like Shite-nfall

My Summer With Cliff Blezinski and A Fiat Punto Full of Human Growth Hormone

How I Broke Into Sega And Deleted The Source Code For Streets Of Rage 4

The Soldier I Named After My Best Friend Died In XCOM And Cost Me The Mission So I Smothered Him With His Pillow IRL

Witcher 3? More Like ‘Hitch A Bee’.

The Yakuza Series: Does Anyone Really Like It? Like, Really??

Brink: You Liked It, Didn’t You?

White Haired Dante And My Semester Abroad

Feel free to use any of those, they’re yours for a 6″ BMT from Subway. Herbs and Cheese, toasted please. No salad.


The fuck is Overwatch and the fuck should I Care? – You Died investigates.

We’re busy guys here at You Died, we have jobs, families and crippling addictions to nu metal crack wrestling to deal with as well as occasionally dribbling our thoughts into a WordPress post, which often means don’t  have time to check out every game that gets released let alone play them all. But occasionally The Internet will sing and shout and scream incessantly in your face about something so much that you kinda feel like you have no choice to just scream ‘FINE FOR FUCK SAKE, I’LL HAVE A FUCKING LOOK AT IT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST JUST SHUT UP ALREADY. LOOK AT YOU OVER THERE, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ENJOY YOURSELF YOU MAKE ME SICK’ and today, that thing is Overwatch.

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A definitive review of DOOM 2016

With websites like Polydong clearly getting their timid balls in a knot trying to talk about DOOM with paragraphs like…

Doom is very violent, in case you weren’t aware. It’s all kinetic shooting with very graphic kills that have blessedly been toned down somewhat from their original gruesome debut at last year’s E3. The so-called “Glory Kills” — a fancy name for melee executions available when an enemy takes enough damage — are no longer quite so drawn-out and torturous. Instead, a glory kill takes about two seconds to finish, long enough to be savage but not the extended gore porn that made me a little queasy when I first saw the game in 2015

… we thought that, for the good of our children and our children’s children, we would offer up the definitve review of the new DOOM for everyone to just copy and paste at will, saving all of games media from getting all confused about what to say. Please see below. You’re quite welcome.


There you go. See you later.


Ranking Them Souls-Borne Games

No game has ever come close to matching Dark Souls other than the other ‘Souls-Borne’ games: Yer Demons, Dark 1,2 & 3 and of course, Blooders.

The games that ruined all other games for me, nothing will ever taste as sweet as that first time through Lordran. And I assume it’s the same for pretty much everyone who plays them. There’s so much depth in the combat, the environment design the enemies and of course that story that doesn’t ever seem to stop revealing layers the more the look into it.

Sure, your DMC’s and ya Bayonetta’s have expansive combat systems, but they’re all about learning massive combo inputs. Souls games are more like chess. You wait and study your opponent, you see a gap and you attack…they share more with Street Fighter in that sense.

And the art direction…oh my. Even back when the budgets were low and the tech was lacking finesse, From could still produce a stunning vista – utterly out doing even Naughty Dog or Bungie and becoming the sole reason the ‘share’ button is worn out on my PS4 pad.

You know this already, right? You’re an intelligent person…of course you are, that’s why you’re reading this. And as much as I could go on and on about how great these games are, I really can’t be arsed. Instead what I’ll do for you, dear friend is solve the age of question of which of these games is the big dog in the best way our species have invented for categorising such things: The Numbered List. YES.

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The Dark Night of The Soul

This here post was written by the awesome Tom Woods, who you can find drawing awesome things over on twitter here: https://twitter.com/TomWoodsArt, or making excellent videos as part of Hearts Bros here: https://www.youtube.com/c/heartsbros

2015 was rough. It contained but was not limited to: personal upheavals, self-doubt, questioning life-choices, career, spirituality, hobbies, friendships, pretty much every part of my existence, and while I’ve not figured it all out, I think I’m at least in the right direction, sometimes falling from the path to stagger through the thick undergrowth is the best way to move forward.

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Free and Open Source Let’s Plays

This here post was written by friend of the blog, Al who can usually be found doing Let’s Plays of Darkest Dungeon, Binding of Issac and more over at You & I Play. Find them on Twitter here or Al personally on twitter here.


Before we started doing let’s plays there seemed to be an insurmountable series of things I had no idea how to even start dealing with. I’m aware that if you have a PS4 you just press a couple of buttons and then you’re live on Twitch, but a) I don’t have a PS4 and b) I wanted a bit more professionalism, and a YouTube series. Live streams can come later.

My primary concern was cost. I couldn’t afford professional hardware or professional software, but I still wanted my audio quality to be a step above the average youtuber. The hardware took a bit of experimentation, but the software seemed obvious: open-source.

See, I’ve always been an open-source advocate and I would choose open-source software over proprietary even if it were awkward, but in this case, it seemed like the alternatives were just so pricey (or dicey) that I really didn’t have a choice. It might also seem tempting to pirate some professional software to give yourself a kick start, but do me a favour – bad enough I’m forced to run Windows without tempting fate by opening myself up to all sorts of malware.

So I experimented with hardware, and looked to FOSS for my software needs, with mixed success. In this post I’ll discuss the hardware and the quick-and-dirty software; in the next post I’ll talk about the slightly more advanced (and tentative) techniques I’ve been using to post-process the videos.



I messed around with various ways of recording two people at once. The problem with headsets is you need to be able to plug two in at once. Most computers have one mic in at the back, and one headset port at the front. This might work. I didn’t try this because in order to get a quality headset I’d have to spend my whole budget, and I wanted two.

If it’s just you, get a decent headset. That will be more than good enough.

I experimented with mic-only headsets but it turned out the one I got was a dynamic microphone, meaning the voltage from the PC caused intense noise. I also bought a mini mixer so I could plug two in at once, which was a bit too much money for saying it didn’t actually do what I wanted, but also now I have a mini mixer, so it’s not all bad.

The point is, don’t get a dynamic mic.

I happened to get lucky and find a Blue Snowball at half price, solving my budget woes. I should have gone with this first – the Blue Snowball is a very common mic for youtubers, and being desk-standing it meant we could both talk at once. I also got a pop filter, but I’m not sure whether it’s helping. I daren’t take it off. The mic is suspended by a boom (about £7) that I’ve got attached to a shelf above the desk. This ensures keyboard clatter is not transmitted through the desk and up to the microphone, but if you don’t have a shelf, you can get elastic things that the mic hangs in, as a sort of shock absorber.

In our early videos you can hear that the room has a lot of reverb. This is because there was a hard wall right behind us when we recorded those videos. While not a massive deal, I was not entirely happy with this sound, and considered buying a bunch of acoustic foam tiles to cut down on this. I still am considering that, but now that we’re in a different place, the acoustic properties of the room are different, so it’s less of a big deal. If you’re concerned about the echo in your room, though, you can do worse than buying £30 worth of these tiles and sticking them to a piece of plasterboard (so you don’t wreck your wall).

The mic was the only thing I needed to buy, but I also upgraded my entire computer. Biggest feature of this is the video card. If you intend to record any 3D stuff, or anything heavily CPU-intensive, you probably want to get an nVidia card. The reason for this is that, unless you have a stupidly high-end CPU, more memory than I do, and two SSDs, you’re going to want to get the video card to encode the video for you. ATI cards don’t have this capability; or at least, not one the de facto standard recording software can take advantage of.

You could do a similar thing with Intel but I don’t think Intel even make external video cards. However, you might be able to record on your laptop if you already have a mid-level gaming laptop with an Intel video chipset.

When using nVidia’s codecs to record, you’ll end up with massive files. A 30-minute video can reach 3GB or more. So you’ll want to invest in a big enough disk, too.

Finally, you might want to invest in a largeish SSD. You can get 250GB for about 70 quid. This will help with loading times, and let you offload the recorded data to disk faster, freeing up memory; RAM was one of the other things I upgraded, to 16GB, meaning I can comfortably fit an entire video in memory if needed, but at the expense of the memory required to actually run the game.

Ultimately, it wasn’t cheap to get a gaming rig suitable for YouTube, but I think I set my standards a bit too high, and if I already had a decent gaming rig, I would only have spent the £35 on a Blue Snowball.



For all forms of recording you’re going to need one thing: OBS. OBS is the Open Broadcaster Software and is a fairly common tool that streamers and YouTubers alike use. We use it for all the things we record and have tested it with both Twitch and YouTube for live streaming.

In this post we’ll cover easy mode. Easy mode is where you press a hotkey to start recording, and you press it again to stop. You’ll have to stick the videos together later, but you can do that with YouTube itself.

We’ll do a quick setup of OBS so you don’t have to mess around trying to find the tutorials on it.


OBS Profiles

I recommend two profiles; one for low-power stuff and one for high-power stuff. Low-power is stuff like The Binding of Isaac, Darkest Dungeon, Invisible Inc – stuff that doesn’t really make much use of your graphics card’s 3D capabilities. This stuff, your CPU can encode on the fly, and the x264 codec that OBS uses seems a lot more capable of producing sensibly-sized videos than nVidia’s hardware one.

This means that your CPU game recordings are going to be a lot smaller than your nVidia ones.

You probably also want to create a profile for streaming, too. We’ll discuss the foibles of streaming later.

To set up a profile, well, you’re already on a profile, so you head to settings and start changing stuff. You can pick the profile you’re setting up, as well as add new profiles, from the General page.



Most of your setup is on the Encoding page. Here are the settings I’ve got the best value out of so far.

Audio is simple: AAC, 48kHz, 192kbps, stereo.

Video is more complex.

Software Hardware
Encoder (video) x264 NVENC
Use CBR No No
Max Bitrate 15000 30000
Quality Balance 10 10
Preset veryfast Bluray Disk
Profile main high
Use CFR Yes Yes

The first four are in Encoding, and the last three are in Advanced. The names of “Preset” and “Profile” are different in software and hardware mode because they configure the encoder, but they’re the first options in the Video section of Advanced. Check the screenshots below for a better idea of what I’m talking about.

The “Bluray Disk” setting for NVENC is a strange one, but I went through all the options, testing it on Bioshock Infinite, and this one was the least weird.

You also want to set your Mode in Broadcast Settings to File Output Only, and remember to set up your Hotkeys to whatever you would like.




If you want to actually stream, you should really change up your settings. Most streaming services have a bandwidth cap, which means you’re going to be stuck with a max bitrate for your video. This is fine for x264, but not amazing for NVENC, because NVENC seems to consume every ounce of bitrate it can.

I have yet to actually try streaming with NVENC set to such a low value, but low-bitrate 2D streaming seems to work fine.

Themain changes you will make are a) to reduce the bitrate to about 3500 (5000 is the absolute max on Twitch, but you’ll rarely need that much) and b) turn on CBR. CBR is constant bit rate, which will mean the stream will sacrifice quality to preserve bitrate; this will ensure you don’t suddenly send 10kbps down Twitch and cut yourself off or lag everyone out.

If you want a decent quality recording as well as a stream that won’t get you kicked off Twitch, you can actually run OBS twice; once using NVENC at your normal recording settings, and once using your Twitch settings. To do this, you need to edit your OBS shortcut (either on desktop or in the Start menu (is it even still called the Start menu?)) and add -multi to the Target field. Normally, OBS would not run twice, and this enables that behaviour.


Advanced Mode

Hopefully this is enough to get people started doing let’s plays or streams without the blocker of having no idea where to begin. In the next episode article, I’ll explain how I use ffmpeg, Audacity, Inkscape, and some Perl to fix my audio, cut up the video before uploading, and create the thumbnail.


Written by Gav Russell. Twitter is here.

Welcome back to Romdom Number Generator, a monthly feature where I pick ROMS using a number generator, force myself to play them for 20 minutes whatever they may be and then write about them! Because …well, I don’t actually know. You can read the full rules and a longer introduction by checking out month 1 right here and see the series so far by clicking this. So, without further delay…


Just for a bit of context, I’m one of those pricks you’ve been reading about that have performed this one weird trick and as a result am playing Dark Souls 3 early. I’ve logged over 30 wonderful hours since I started playing it 3 days ago (which is no mean feat, considering the fact that I have to ignore my children in order to do so) and so it’s with some small upset  that I’m switching it off to play some Old Shite instead. So, with that rather deflating intro out the way, let’s crack on!

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A Timely Look Back At The Punisher

Did you hear? The Punisher is in the next series of brilliant-except-for-that-last-episode-which-was-clearly-rushed Netflix series of Daredevil, allowing all sorts of people to proclaim they ‘love Punisher‘ and ‘you should read ‘Welcome Back, Frank’, it’s the epitome of the character‘, ‘did you know he was originally a dog?’ and other such Wikipedia copied soundbites which may or may not be true…

Not that I’m a comic book elitist, far from it, I just find it funny that everyone suddenly becomes an expert on b-level characters once they break into a bigger, more popular medium…


Speaking of bigger mediums, there’s only two games you need to worry about when it comes to ya boi Frank Castle, the first being Capcom’s excellent arcade brawler, handily titled The Punisher.

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A Real Review of Far Cry Primal

Written by Gav Weir, Twitter etc.

I’m sorry, I’ve tricked you. So that last ‘review’ was obviously a bit of a joke. A ‘lol’ if you will. We still friends? That’s good, I’m glad we’re cool. We should hang more…how’s next Friday? Yeah, I’ll drop you a text.

Anyway. Since writing that, I’ve been thinking about Far Cry Primal and there’s things I actually need to say about it, things I need to say out loud to properly grasp.and to understood why it fails to match up to the games before it. But to do that, let’s step back a year to when Far Cry 4 graced our consoles.

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Far Cry Primal – A ‘Sort Of’ Review

‘Written’ by Gav Weir – Twitter here.

So I’m a busy guy, I don’t have time to delve into a big review. But I did think of this excellent closing line:

A game having a bad story is no surprise, but I expect a Far Cry game to at least try.

The sickest of burns, I’m sure you’ll agree.

(But really: FCP is totally fine. Whilst visually incredible, the whole thing can’t escape feeling like a filler game made by the B-Team at Ubisoft whilst the A-Team work on the next numbered entrant. Beating animals to death with a club you’ve set on fire is pretty fun though).